Have you determined that your marriage isn’t working out as you’d hoped? Whether there’s been infidelity, abuse, or simply growing apart, there’s nothing shameful about wanting to call it quits.
This is an awkward time, though. No one prepares you for how to have that big conversation with your spouse. How can you bring up divorce in a way that won’t cause a fight?
We’re here to offer you some advice. Keep reading to learn all about bringing divorce to the table with your spouse.
Have an Open Conversation
Before you go filling out your divorce papers, try to have a comfortable, open, and honest conversation with your spouse. This is when you’re going to broach the topic for the first time, and if they are unaware that there’s anything wrong, this is going to be a huge surprise.
You want everything to stay calm despite the heated topic. While it’s tempting to bring this up in public, over dinner, or in the car, this might make your partner feel trapped and defensive. As long as you aren’t worried about violence, do it in private.
Make sure that you use “I” statements instead of “you” statements and be clear about your concerns. Open yourself up to listening to their issues as well. Often, divorce is the result of a history of poor communication.
If this was a shock to your partner and they want to work it out, consider whether or not that works for you. Going through divorce court is tough and expensive, so if it’s possible to avoid that, it’s for the best.
Not every relationship is repairable, so keep that in mind.
Try some tips for fixing your relationship and seek out marriage counseling. If you’re committed to giving your marriage another try, make every possible attempt before giving up.
The idea of divorce may shock your partner back into reality and make them more willing to repair the relationship.
Talk About Next Steps
If you know that you don’t want to repair things, that’s okay too. Talk to your partner about what you’re going to do next.
You could start with a trial separation to figure out if splitting up is actually what you want to do. When it becomes clear that that’s the case, you should seek out the best divorce lawyer in your area.
A divorce lawyer will help you and your partner have a more amicable divorce. Even if you think that you’re on the same page, if you have children, assets to divide, or any other complicating factors, a lawyer will guide you.
“Divorce” Isn’t a Bad Word
Bringing up divorce with your spouse is going to be difficult, but you need to have these conversations if you want to reconcile or move forward. Communication is everything in any relationship, and this is no exception.
Take that tough first step and move forward with your life.
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